Toxic Positivity

We hear a lot about toxic this and toxic that, toxic-toxic-toxic. *Cue the Britney Spears medley*

Toxic positivity is becoming an increasing plague. I am all for pumping people up during the bad times and being excited for people when they are succeeding but we have got to cut the shit when it comes to being overly supportive of bad behavior from the ones we love. All this is doing is enabling them to turn into monsters where when they have an idea that isn’t a good idea, you are all of the sudden the bad guy, not a good friend, and the least supportive person on earth despite all of the times you’ve shown up with takeout and tissues.

There is a MAJOR difference between supporting a girlfriend and their new business venture that is of sound mind and reason and supporting a girlfriend that is about to make a move or has been making moves that will likely fuck up her own life. We have got to stop showing up for our friends and cheering them on with every little thing they do when we know that is a bad decision – bad relationships, encouraging overspending money on things while hollering “Treat yourself!”, knowing they are drinking heavily because they are going through something, posting every passive aggressive meme on Facebook because they are angry at someone. Whatever it is. What is the point of being a “friend” if you aren’t looking out for your friend’s best interests, even when it involves checking them on their slippery slope towards what could be a shame spiral?

I am extremely lucky that I have a group of friends that is extremely supportive of me. They support my businesses. They support my relationships as long as they witness it’s a healthy one. They support my growth. But you know what they don’t support? My bullshit. They are the first ones to call me out or come to me when they are worried about my behaviors.

I get it, there is a fine line between friendship, realism, positivity, and toxic positivity. Sometimes you don’t even realize that you are feeding the monster. When you are watching the behavior of someone you love, if you witness them dancing into the territory of bad behavior, cut the head off of the monster before it’s too late and you are the bad guy.